Solving a Differential Equation to Get Madhubala’s Smile

Times of India November 28 2007: “Worth a million dollars: The formula for that perfect smile”

Report describes how to get a perfect smile.

“…right size and width of each tooth, right curve, colour and shape of the teeth, and the overall width of the mouth are the factors which together contribute to a lovable smile.

… whiteness of the teeth should match the whites of the eyes, else the smile will stand out too much and detract from the rest of the face.

…the ideal width of a smile should not be less than half the width of the face, and both upper and lower lips should be symmetrical each side of the mid-line of the face.

… the top row of teeth should be dominant, while very little should be seen of the bottom row.

… all the teeth on display should be straight, and there should not appear any signs of restoration work.

… the teeth’s size should decrease from front to back.

While the width of the central teeth should be 80 per cent of their height, the laterals should be 61.8 per cent the size of the bigger teeth.
The visibility of gums should be as little as possible to avoid a horsy smile...
“.

Now, these specs surely need a differential equation to be solved.

So can you create a great smile by solving an equation? Is it ever possible to re-create the most infectious smile of 20th century: Madhubala’s?


How silly!

Her smile was certainly not because of expensive cosmetic dentistry. Nor it was just a genetic lottery. It was in great measure due to her effort to get along with her difficult circumstances and sadness in her soul.

Unlike the gent below, we thank god that Madhubala,like Agatha, learned to smile at misfortune!


Artist: Perry Barlow The New Yorker 20 June 1936

Mayawati, Spare Nautch Girls. We Owe a Lot to Them.

Times of India reported on November 29, 2007: “Maya warns MLAs not to watch nautch girls dance.”

“LUCKNOW: The 'feminist' in chief minister Mayawati surfaced on Tuesday when she warned her party leaders against hosting or attending events where women are made to dance in an obscene manner or exhibit their bodies.

" Agar tumhari maa aur beheno ko nachaya jaaye toh kaisa lagega (how will you feel if women of your family are made to dance)?" behenji thundered, and added that her party MLAs and MPs would be expelled if they dared to go against her wishes. Mayawati was particularly angry with her party leaders from Hardoi, who were caught on-camera watching dance show by bar girls.

"Didn't you feel ashamed of yourself? What values you will pass on to your children? Learn to respect women... I won't tolerate this anymore," Mayawati told party leaders. Instead, she said, host programmes that enlighten people about the great personalities and bahujan samaj.

"You can also invite BSP's social awakening groups for performance," she said. In her party review meeting, Mayawati spoke for an hour on "respect for women". “

I feel Mayawati is wasting her time and political capital on this because nautch girls have always been with us and will continue to be so.

Mountstuart Elphinstone (1779-1859), governor of Bombay, was one of the finest “British official in India who did much to promote education and local administration of laws.”

Philip Mason author of “The Men Who Ruled India” (1953) describes him thus:

“…Breakfast with Elphinstone would have been all pleasure. A companionable silence would be possible; there is wit in his face and in all he wrote or said, but there is no cynicism or spite or self –seeking; he can be detached, humorous, resigned to the inevitable, and yet enthusiastic as a boy…

…The news came that he was to be Governor of Bombay. He was by no means elated; he has been cured of ambition long ago, his brain was too fine, his temper too philosophic, his humour too astringent, to take pleasure in power or success or adulation for their own sake”

This stoic remembered nautch girls on a visit to Calcutta in 1807 thus:”Here there were such lots of women and laughing and philandering that I was in heaven.”

D G Godse in his essay “Centenarian Saubhadra शातायुषी सौभद्र” (नांगी असलेले फुलपाखरू, 1989) says:”...during the period (19th century) most middle-class people went to Tamasha (performed by nautch girls) is obvious from entries in their personal diaries...”

Giants who made Marathi plays and their music strong and enduring, namely Govindrao Tembe, Nanasaheb Joglekar and above all Bhaskarrao Bakhale, owe a lot of their skills to frequent visits to kothas of nautch girls!
(मराठी संगीत नाटक, गोविंदराव टेंबे, नानासाहेब जोगळेकर, भास्करराव बखले) (source- M V Dhond "Moon of the Fourth Day” ,म वा धोंड, चंद्र चवथिचा, 1987)


The Dancing Girl Piari Jan and Malageer c. 1815 (source- The Last Mughal by William Dalrymple, 2006)

I hope in man's cruel world Piari Jan or Malageer never backed into a sizzling Tandoor like poor Valerie did in the picture below!


Artist: Peter Arno The New Yorker 7 May 1949

All Matter Will Have Returned to Energy: Preposterous Delusion?

Year 2005 was birth centenary of 1905, Annus Mirabilis for physics.

BRIAN GREENE a professor of physics and mathematics at Columbia wrote a memorable essay: “That Famous Equation and You” (NYT September 30, 2005)

He said: “…In the far, far future, essentially all matter will have returned to energy. But because of the enormous expansion of space, this energy will be spread so thinly that it will hardly ever convert back to even the lightest particles of matter. Instead, a faint mist of light will fall for eternity through an ever colder and quieter cosmos.

The guiding hand of Einstein's E = mc² will have finally come to rest.”

"Preposterous Delusion", Calvin may put it as in the picture below?

Maybe.

But physics has always provided great solace to me. Particularly after my mother’s death.

Roger Penrose:

“…I think there is a positive side to this picture of space and time being laid out there as 4 dimensions, because it tells you that all times are there once and it can affect the way one thinks about people who have died.

I mean, I remember thinking in this kind of way when my mother died. In some sense she was still there because her existence is still out there in space/time although in our time she is not alive. A colleague of mine had a son who died in tragic circumstances and I presented this idea to him and it helped his understanding also.

This was before I heard that Einstein had a colleague died and he wrote to the man's wife that Bessa was still out there, and that somehow this was reassuring. I certainly think this way often, that space/time is laid out and that things in the past and things in the future are out there still…”


Artist: Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

(double click on the picture to get a larger view)

SAAWARIYA: A Beautiful Face of Nepotic, Inbreeding India

On November 27, 2007, I saw Shekhar Kapoor saying, on NDTV panel discussion in Goa, that Hindi film Saawariya does NOT feature newcomers but kids of (well established insiders like) Rishi Kapoor, Nitu Singh and Anil Kapoor.

He wondered if Sony corp. would have indeed invested Rs. 38 crores on a pair of unknown artists.

Indian film industry, similar to Indian businesses, is like larger Indian society, deeply nepotic right from the days of Mahabharat.

If Saawariya pair is a new comer, following Indians should also be called "newcomers" to their respective fields:

Rahul Gandhi, Supriya Pawar, M.K. Kanimozhi, Uddhav Thackeray, Rahul Mahajan, Maran brothers…to infinity.

Would you?

Nepotism has not worked in sports yet. But who knows? I would bet on a Tendulkar or a Ganguly captaining Indian national cricket team around year 2025.

In India, social mobility was always suspect because of caste system. What about the rest of the world?

Nepotism is prospering every where.

Newsweek November 3, 2007 announced: “The Death Of Social Mobility. In the Asian Tiger economies, the next generation will struggle to do as well as their parents did.”

Once beacon of social mobility, America too is turning very nepotic.

Paul Krugman:

“…Very few children of the lower class are making their way to even moderate affluence. This goes along with other studies indicating that rags-to-riches stories have become vanishingly rare, and that the correlation between fathers' and sons' incomes has risen in recent decades. In modern America, it seems, you're quite likely to stay in the social and economic class into which you were born… “ (“The Death of Horatio Alger”)

The Economist (January 8, 2004) said:

“…AMERICA likes to think of itself as the very embodiment of the spirit of meritocracy: a country where all people are judged on their individual abilities rather than their family connections. The American Revolution swept away the flummery of feudal titles. Thomas Jefferson dreamed of creating a “natural aristocracy”. Benjamin Franklin sniped that “a man who makes boast of his ancestors doth but advertise his own insignificance.”

… But are they right? The more you look at modern America, the more you are struck by how frequently it departs from the meritocratic ideal. George Bush's Washington is a study in family influence: look at the Powells, the Chao/McConnells, the Scalias and the Cheneys, not to mention the Shrub himself.

The biggest insult to meritocracy, however, is found in the country's top universities. These institutions, which control access to the country's most impressive jobs, consider themselves far above Washington and its grubby spoils system. Yet they continue to operate a system of “legacy preferences”—affirmative action for the children of alumni…”


Artist: R K Laxman Times of India 11 September 2006

We, The Philistines. Can't Even Preserve It.

Times of India November 21, 2007 reported:

“Archaeological Survey of India scars world heritage site: Ajanta Caves Vista Spoiled With Cement Work.

The outer portion of second century BC and Unesco World Heritage Site Ajanta caves has been badly scarred after the Archaeological Survey of India (ASI) dug a pit and hastily abandoned the construction of a cement portico, which was meant to be pleasing to the eyes…”

This didn't surprise me because on February 3, 2004 NYT had reported:

“…Only in 1986 did a group of Indian archaeologists resume work at Angkor Wat, but their techniques -- chemicals to clean the temple towers and cement to support interior walls -- were widely criticized.

Mr. Borath defends the Indians. ''Their presence was politically important,'' he said. ''They were the first to return, with few resources and under very difficult conditions. There was a cease-fire, but still great insecurity. Perhaps their method was not correct, but it is good to remember the conditions.'' "

I felt deeply sad at this development because just this fortnight, Frontline (December 7, 2007) has showcased Ajnata Caves: Simply Grand as the eighth part of their ongoing 25-pat series on Indian art.

“Around the 2nd century B.C. at Ajanta, great shrines and monasteries were carved out of the mountain…

…in the gorge of the Waghora river, Ajanta’s paintings occupy the pre-eminent position in the mural traditions of Asia. However, its sculpture, among the finest ever created in India, is often not given the attention it deserves…

…Colossal Buddha, Kanheri, 5th and 6th century. This figure, more than 22 feet (6.7 metres) in height, marks the beginning of a long tradition of colossal Buddhas, which became a popular representation across the Tibetan plateau and Central Asia…”

Talking of colossal Buddhas, remember Bamiyan Buddhas, destructed by philistine the Taliban?

But we 21st century Hindu Indians are as much philistines as any. What do we care for preserving our history and composite culture? Many of us just want to use our history and mythology to attack minorities.

One has to be reminded that Pune is a historical city. There is hardly any evidence of it other than ghostly Shaniwar Wada, poorly maintained Sinhgad fort and a couple of other places. It's hard to believe that once rulers of Pune ruled India, from Sindhu to Kaveri.

A couple of examples:

Ibrahim Gardi and his division (consisting largely of South Indian low caste Hindus called Telange) showed the greatest valour at the third battle of Panipat (January 14, 1761). But there is no monument to remember that supreme sacrifice and show case India’s composite culture.

Alandi, near Pune, where Saint Dnyaneshwar ज्ञानेश्वर (1275-1296) took samadhi (a yogic path to salvation by giving up life) is a centre of spirituality for whole of Maharashtra and beyond.

Scholar and critic M V Dhond has commented on Alandi's degradation in following words:"...second regret,degradation of Alandi...I feel terrible pain remembering bad condition of my Jñanadeva's place of samadhi...will this place ever get back its original serene and gratifying looks?..." (February 2, 1996)

म वा धोंड:"...दुसरी खंत, या आळंदी क्षेत्राच्या दुर्दशेविषयीची...माझ्या ज्ञानदेवांच्या समाधिस्थळाची दुर्दशा आठवून माझ्या चित्ताला फार क्लेश होतात...या परिसराला त्याचे शांत व रम्य असे मूळ रुप परत कधी लाभेल का?..."


Cave 26. In the Mahaparinirvana scene, the Buddha's disciple Ananda sits at his feet. He is sad and forlorn at the passing away of his master. The simplicity of this representation and the humanity expressed in it are remarkable. The abstract representation of the flowering tree above is delightful


Artist: Rea Gardner The New Yorker 3 August 1940

Not Happy with Something? Relax. Happiness Adapts

Look at Richard Decker’s picture first.

Fleming is seemingly devastated by his boss’s argument. He probably didn’t want to be the first victim of management wisdom. But he is.

Can he still be happy?

Asian Age on November 24, 2007:

“Got a pay hike! Bet you won't be that happy. Research shows that men are happiest with salary rises only if their colleagues get less. Researchers in Europe, who have carried out the study, found that most men get the biggest buzz from a monetary prize when they know it's a much bigger award than that received by someone else, The Independent reported in London on Friday.

According to lead researcher, Professor Armin Falk of Bonn University, the findings go against conventional theories about economic rewards, which "suggest it is the absolute hike in pay, rather than the relative one, that matters most".

"This result clearly contradicts traditional economic theory (which) assumes only important factor is the absolute size of the reward," he was quoted as saying…”

I am surprised that the professor is surprised.

Paul Krugman said this in June 1999:

“…A more important point, probably, is that human beings are hard-wired to judge themselves not by their absolute standard of living, but in comparison to others. It may be true that in material terms today's borderline poor live as well as the upper-middle class did a few decades back, but that does not stop them from feeling poor. And consumer spending ultimately disappoints because of habituation: once you have become accustomed to a given standard of living, the thrill is gone…”

Therefore, if Fleming’s colleagues don’t get any raise like him or get a cut or lose their jobs, Fleming may still be happy.

Or Fleming can draw comfort from following:

“…A notorious study in 1974 found that despite some 30 years worth of stellar economic growth, Americans were no happier than they were at the end of World War II. A more recent study found that life satisfaction in China declined between 1994 and 2007, a period in which average real incomes grew by 250 percent.

Happiness, it appears, adapts. It’s true that the rich are happier, on average, than the poor. But while money boosts happiness, the effect doesn’t last. We just become envious of a new, richer set of people than before. Satisfaction soon settles back to its prior level, as we adapt to changed circumstances and set our expectations to a higher level…” (EDUARDO PORTER, NYT, November 12, 2007)


Artist: Richard Decker The New Yorker 20 December 1947

High-Rise Buildings at Pune Can Fix Falling Libidos

Indian Express reported on November 20, 2007:

“With the state government giving its nod for high-rise buildings, Pune is set to join an exclusive club of skyscraper cities. The city, that had till now buildings with a maximum height of 40 metres or 11 floors, will soon get to see building with over 30 floors and rising up to 100 metres…”

I am not going to bring up boring “green” subjects like roads, public-transport, electricity, pollution, urban-warming etc. Instead, I am going to look at another dimension!

Pune is home to a booming IT industry where there is constant talk of rising salaries and falling libidos among its workers. See the story "IT boom gives way to baby gloom." (Times of India April 20, 2003)

Therefore, my only hope: High-rise at Pune won’t look as boring as Express Tower and Air India Building at Mumbai. They invoke no feelings in me or don’t remind of anything.

Instead, Pune structures can look exciting and also serve a social purpose.

How?


Artist: Robert Menkoff The New Yorker 22 November 1999

Murder On My Mind

Times of India November 19, 2007 reports:

“Govt to ensure quality products. Tough laws likely to empower consumers against sub-standard products.”

It’s about time. And they should also cover services.

Over last few years, most service providers (banks, mutual funds, telco's, ISP's, electricity boards, muncipal corporations, hospitals...) and product manufacturers (tv, pc, laptop, mobiles, DVD players...) have done every thing possible to make me do a murder or commit suicide.

Fortunately for them, I phone or e-mail them to redress my grievances. If I were to meet some of them...


Artist: Otto Soglow The New Yorker 21 Feb 1948

England, India Go Missing from Big Sports Tourneys. Does it matter?

England has failed to qualify for Euro 2008. The British economy, by one estimate, could lose out on a £2 billion payoff...

Paul Doyle of The Guardian said:

"...The brutal truth of tonight's 3-2 defeat is this: England aren't one of the best 16 teams in Europe, let alone a world football power.

Blame it on the manager if you want, or a decadent society that means the country's current crop of players are more a bling generation than a golden one. Or perhaps it would be better to blame it on a blind fear and loathing of foreigners, the malaise that moved English fans to boo the Croatian national anthem before the game..."

Sunil Gavaskar wrote (Sportstar November 10, 2007):

“…. England’s failure to qualify for Euro 2008 would be akin to India not making it to the main draw of Asia cup.”

This comparison is not fair. The field for qualification for Euro 2008 was much stronger than Asia cup cricket.

But the point is taken. Gavaskar has always enjoyed rubbing it in when it comes to England. Me too!

The fair comparison would be England’s this failure with India's failure to qualify for the final stage of Cricket World Cup

Gavaskar also said:”…the English players are far more concerned about their club than their country…”

This may also happen to Indian cricketers once professional cricket leagues (Zee and BCCI) in India take off.

Does this loss matter to either team? I think not.

Football in England and Cricket in India are locomotives of massive commercial interests. Those interests keep everybody (media, fans, advertisers, sponsors, commentators, coaches) still follow the losers as closely as winners. In fact, winning or losing is only incidental.

I feel cricket matches in India in future may be organized like free-style wrestling bouts involving brothers, Dara Singh and Randhawa, at Vallabbhai Patel Stadium, Worli in the past: Opponents get beaten by Indian team to give Indian fans a huge high.

Team Croatia played excellent football on Wednesday. But I don't know a single Croatian footballer!

However, I know many English footballers thanks to their scantily dressed wives and girlfriends (WAGs), who keep making appearances on the pages of Indian newspapers almost every single day! Thank goodness, my familiarity with Indian cricketers is more direct!

For example, Carly Zucker of Joe Cole fame appears very often:




Artist: R K Laxman Times of India March 20, 2007

Being Old, Lonely and Sleepy in India

Times of India October 26, 2007:

“Emotions trap lonely seniors:

Acute loneliness among the wealthy elderly in cities is driving some of them towards "emotional entrapment" wherein they are being duped or are willingly bequeathing valuable real estate to their domestic help, driver or other such seemingly helpful people…

…because children and other relatives don't have the time to take care of elderly people living alone. Some acquaintance willing to do all possible errands and is considered trust-worthy, becomes indispensable and wins the hearts and minds of everyone in the family…

…loneliness was a very serious concern among parents of young Indians settled abroad… "

Before my mother died, she used to be taken around in Nashik city in an auto-rickshaw by a loving guy Bhausaheb. He was like a son to her. She loved me; my brother and she loved Bhausaheb. When she was hospitalised, Bhausaheb was in tears, when she died, he was inconsolable.

No reward to Bhausaheb was unfair.

See the picture below.

Hapless old couple, 10:30 PM, failing vision, stiff joints, half-asleep, waiting perhaps for an ISD call, watching domineering, decadent TV.

If anyone cares for them, what do you think is that caring person’s just reward?


Artist: Vasant Sarwate Lalit Diwali वसंत सरवटे ललित दिवाळी 2007